


I Am totheark

by TeslaInMyPocket



Category: Marble Hornets, Slender Man Mythos
Genre: Gen, Maybe possibly Brian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-10 12:34:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeslaInMyPocket/pseuds/TeslaInMyPocket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s like this body isn’t mine anymore.<br/>I’m a vessel for some other force.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, a prompt from a friend. More chapters to come, perhaps.

I don’t know where I am. I keep waking up, or at least I think I’m waking up, in seemingly random places. Sometimes in strange buildings, sometimes the middle of the woods. It started out in July of 2009. That was years ago, and it wasn’t so bad then. I thought it was just a memory problem, but now I realize it is so much more than that. I’ve given up on going home. I haven’t been back to my apartment in months, unless I go back when I’m not..me... 

At least I don’t think I’m me. 

I’ve seen videos, the videos that *I* upload to totheark and Jay’s account. But that’s not me. 

I mean, it IS me, but it’s not. This totheark figure and I share the same body, but we’re not the same. Tim is my friend. I would never, ever do anything to harm him. Totheark is the one who is doing it. He does seem to be helping Jay now, guiding him toward answers that I don’t know. I don’t know what happened to Alex either. The last time I saw him was the day he shut down Marble Hornets production, and I can’t say I was sorry to end my time with the project. Alex turned hostile in the last few weeks of production, going from a likeable person to a terror. But nothing like he is now. No, I don’t think that’s Alex anymore. I wish I could talk to him, if there was anyway I could. If he isn’t himself anymore, then maybe we’re going through similar experiences. Maybe he knows what’s causing this, or who. I have an idea, from what I gather from Jay’s Marble Hornets videos, it’s the figure in the suit. The Operator. 

But who is the Operator? What does he want with me? What does he want from any of us?!

Is he responsible for my memory lapses? My hooded alter egos doings? What about the man in the mask? Alex? Jay’s videos make it seem this way, and he seems to think so. 

Where is the rest of the cast of Marble Hornets? It seems that they are all affected by their time on its set. Where did Jessica go? Seth? Because I remember them, and I hope dearly that they are okay. That they’ve escaped this hell, the one that surrounds all of my other friends. I have so many questions and no one, nowhere, to turn to for answers. I’m isolated and alone, cut off by these damn episodes that are completely out of my control. I’ve lost everything that made me...me. My friends, my family, my life. Everything has gone and been replaced with my alter ego and my fear of it. How could I hold a regular life when I can’t account for most of it? When I can’t even account for my actions?! I almost killed my best friend, on camera, in order to threaten Jay. How the hell do I live with myself after that? I’ve tried to hurt Alex. I’ve threatened everyone, and I’m still trying to decode my own videos. His videos. There is a code in the totheark videos, and nothing that comes from it is anything I would say or do. I don’t even know binary! But he does. 

Recently, I’ve been losing more and more time. I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be continuing to share the same body. One of us is going to go, and he is stronger than me.

The totheark videos are getting more violent in their suggestions and encoded messages. I’m scared of what he’ll do. What he has done. All of it scares me, to be honest. How much longer will this go on? I want to know how much longer I will come to in a shack in the woods, curled up on a dirty mattress. Or in a shed full of trash. How much longer can I go through this sort of life before something bad happens? 

It’s like this body isn’t mine anymore.

I’m a vessel for some other force.

I feel hollow. Empty. Sad. 

But then that explains my mask, my alter ego. Maybe he is sad too. About stealing my life. Maybe he regrets it as much as I regret letting it happen.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giving in, giving up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet.

If you’re reading this, then I don’t know if I’m alright.

I’m no longer me anymore. I’m barely conscious and the snippets of time that I do remember are brief and so fraught with confusion as to where I am and what I’ve done that I might as well not have even come back. 

He is winning.

And I think I will let him.

I no longer want to be responsible for his actions.


	3. update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100111 01100101 01110011

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01001110 01101111 01110111


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